I’m an odd creature. Then again, I suppose we all are in our own ways.

When I was in elementary school, my parents were told that I was an overachiever. While it would be very good for me regarding my career, there could also be a negative side that would rear its ugly head here and there. Recently, I’m understanding the negative aspects a bit more.

I’m  constantly trying to make improvements in my life. When I was in high school, the goal was college and to gain that certain sort of freedom that comes with moving away from home. My family, at the time, didn’t have the money to send me, but I was still determined and my goal was to get there — no matter what. I attended immediately after high school as a result of lots of research on loans, grants and scholarships. During college, while attending as a full-time student, I also had to work a full-time job to pay the bills as well as tuition. It was tough, but I did it and I’m happy I did. It’s true what they say — when you have to work hard for something, you appreciate it that much more.

After receiving my degree, things changed. It was upsetting, really. I always had a direction that had a clear path directing me towards what I wanted to achieve. Upon graduating, you’re supposed to jump into the work force with your brand-new, sparkly degree with ease. Well, I knew it’d be a bit more difficult than that, but not as tough as it was. I was left with a constant feeling of, what’s next? How do I start my career? Too much time is passing without any results. I felt a bit frightened, really. Hoping and waiting for that next illustration gig (at the time I was an illustrator) when you’re an unknown – right out of school is a bit unnerving. That and the expectation that friends, family and significant others have of you once you’ve received your grand education. Let’s just say I wasn’t into it. I chose illustration because I loved to draw and paint. As soon as I graduated and I was suddenly under the microscope, I fell out of love with it.

Luckily, my passion was renewed with a job I received with a local Philadelphia newspaper. The pay and hours were horrendous, but the perks of working in an office with 2 of my college studio mates was the absolute best! We had a great time. I didn’t know it then, but I was about to uncover my true passion… graphic design. Yeah, the work at the paper was sometimes annoying and actually a bit silly, but secretly I enjoyed the hustle and bustle of it all. Last minute ads and the challenge of creating 5-10 more in the last hour before the sales rep was out the door fed the competitive nature in me. Sure, I loathed it at times (and did I say the pay was unsustainable?), but it molded a part of me that has stayed with me to this day in regards to my career.

From that job, I ended up getting a job at a Philadelphia entertainment company. There, I created movie posters, DVD wraps, sell sheets, business cards, direct mail pieces, catalogs, logos, banners, etc. The list goes on. It was a fantastic experience in that I learned an incredible amount while also making some wonderful friends. One of which gave me some advice that echoes in my mind every once in a while. “Treat yourself well.” It’s a simple thought, but it’s one that we don’t really pay any attention to. We usually focus on pleasing others, but in the process, forget to please the most important person in our lives. Ourselves. I’m the only person I have to live with for the rest of my life (technically). So, it made me ask the question – am I happy with what I’m doing? Is there something else I’d like to do that will inspire me? The answer was yes.

After a good 4 year run at that job, I decided it was time for me to follow my ultimate dream. Start my own business. This was the first time since college that I felt so passionate about a goal. I really wanted this. No one else’s expectations or requirements — solely my own. It was such a great feeling. Everything I learned from the time I set foot into my first class at University up until my last day at my previous job was worthwhile in me completing my goal. I don’t subscribe to the belief that everything happens for a reason… I believe we create our own path. We are in control. But I can say that most things I learned leading up to this point did help me out in some way, shape or form.

So, now, here I am in year 2 of owning my business. I’ve been through a lot to get here. You’d think I’d be completely fulfilled, right? Well, I suppose that’s not my nature. I’m always looking to achieve something else. My business is doing very well and I’m very thankful. There’s just something there that’s grating on me to try to do more. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it’s because I’ve been on GO for so long that I’m not able to just enjoy. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely passionate regarding what I do – I love my job. It’s the downtime I’m talking about. The time when I’m supposed to be enjoying the evening or making time to meet up with friends, etc. It seems that because I’ve been working so hard for so long, that I forgot about life (in a way). Does that make sense?

It’s good that I realize this now instead of 20 years down the road. I am going to make a real effort to put some energy into the downtime – IE relaxing more and enjoying life. It’s just fine-tuning that balance.

That is where I’m at. A graphic designer that has worked hard to get to where she is, but forgot to enjoy the downtime along the way. I suppose it’s in our nature (career-wise). From what most of my designer friends say — they’re in similar situations. We all want to enjoy life more. We’re all trying to find the time. It’s that time for me.

Popularity: 1% [?]